Stop watching cable news, it’s bad for you.

Stop filtering the world through social media, it’s a cesspool.

Turn off those breaking news alerts on your phone—none of them are as important as you think.

But isn’t it my responsibility to be an informed citizen?

Absolutely.

The problem is, we’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that endless news consumption is how you stay “informed”.

About 15 years ago, I made an abrupt turn in my life. Souring on the marketing world, I wrote ​Trust Me, I’m Lying​, a book about media manipulation. Although a lot has changed since it came out in 2012 (and a lot has changed ​since the updated edition in 2017​), it’s alarming how relevant the book continues to be. It was, if anything, ahead of its time. Today, we are awash not just with fake news but with too much news, period. Too much information. Too much noise.

I had a few aims with that book but one of my hopes was that when people saw how the sausage was made, they would eat a lot less sausage (and certainly less factory-farmed sausage).

Yet here we are—across the political spectrum—consuming way too much of it. No wonder we’re miserable! No wonder we’re overwhelmed. No wonder we’re easier to manipulate than ever.

In some countries, like Finland, they teach kids media literacy and how to spot propaganda (largely due to their border with Russia). But the rest of the world? We’re just not equipped for the environment we are in.

And that’s my argument today: If you want to make a positive difference in the world—or simply maintain your sanity—you need to step back. You need to learn how to be more philosophical—which means being more discerning about what you let into your mind and learning how to see the big picture, calmly and with perspective.

As I said, being informed is essential. The problem is that breaking news isn’t about informing you. It’s about grabbing and holding your attention—news that is, by definition, not the complete story. It is almost certainly going to be changed as events unfold. George S. Trow observed this decades ago: “Notice that the news is written in such a way that all these ‘dramatic’ ravelings and unravelings are reported in detail…but should the thing finally come together, the news will just stop.” Today, it doesn’t stop—it keeps going and going with endless updates, speculation, and hot takes to keep you in the 24/7/365 cycle.

And social media? It’s even worse. The constant stream of opinions and outrage—how can you possibly have time to think and reflect when your brain is being buzzed by attention-seekers trying to outdo each other?

When you watch sports shows during the day, it’s easy to laugh at the manufactured drama. It’s easy to see that Stephen A. Smith or Skip Bayless are masters at finding things to be upset about, finding things to make you upset about, spinning storylines about who’s overrated, whose game is in decline, and whose job is in jeopardy. It’s all nonsense—not because it’s about sports, but because it’s just meaningless noise: opinions about past events or speculations about future ones, masquerading as meaningful discussion. As if having those opinions is anything but a form of mental masturbation.

Cable news and social media follow the same playbook as the sports media cycle. They just hide the ball better.

And all this isn’t even touching on the bad actors who exploit the incentives of this system (which is what ​Trust Me I’m Lying​ really explores). The media strategist behind Donald Trump, for example, has been very clear about how they “flood the zone with shit” to distract and disorient people. Foreign powers use similar methods: They don’t suppress information so much as they overwhelm people with contradictory and divisive information, propping up fringe viewpoints to turn people against each other. People like Tucker Carlson tell their audience one thing and then in private, say the complete opposite (​as confirmed by multiple lawsuits​). They are not informed experts. They are not your friends. They are con artists, provocateurs and profiteers who are preying on you.

This is not an environment conducive to understanding, to say the least. Some people’s media habits remind me of that line from The Simpsons: “Not only am I not learning, I’m forgetting stuff I used to know!”

There is almost nothing on the news or social media that is not intentionally designed to agitate and outrage. It’s there to distract you. To consume your attention. That there are teams of designers, behavioral scientists, and engineers paid gobsmacking amounts of money to keep you watching and scrolling…posting and waiting for replies.

The same goes for every other publisher or platform. Television doesn’t want you to get up and take action, they want you to sit through the commercial break. A news outlet doesn’t want you to be so outraged by an article that you do something, no, they want you to stay and click another article at the bottom…or one of those scammy AI-written Taboola ads at the bottom (which again, ​I wrote about 11 years ago​ and still exist!).

Stop falling for it.

When I’m not feeling great physically—tired, irritable, sluggish—usually it’s because I’m eating poorly. In the same way, when I feel mentally scattered and distracted—I know it’s time to clean up my information diet.

“If you wish to improve,” Epictetus once said, “be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters.”

One of the most powerful things we can do as human beings in our hyperconnected, 24/7 digital media world is to turn our attention to things that last, to get out of the hellscape of noise and go to truth. It’s a transgressive act, I think, to pick up a book these days—better yet, an old book. If you wish to understand the present moment, you’ll gain more clarity by studying the past than you will from following the breathless news cycle. Put distance between you and the attention merchants. Read philosophy. Read history. Read biographies. Study psychology. Study the patterns of humanity.

During the pandemic, I learned more from reading John M. Barry’s ​The Great Influenza​ (about a pandemic 100 years earlier) than I did from any daily news briefing. My understanding of the demagogues of this moment has been shaped not just by my reading of history but also by fiction—I strongly recommend ​All The King’s Men​ and ​It Can’t Happen Here​. Want to understand America and the EU right now? Read Mike Duncan’s ​The Storm Before The Storm​ about Rome and the hundred years of political dysfunction that preceded Julius Caesar. Want to understand what happened in the days after the 2020 election? Read ​Sallust on conspiracies​. Want to understand how the system is supposed to work? Read Jeffrey Rosen and Tom Ricks’s books on the philosophical influences on the founders (​The Pursuit of Happiness​ and ​First Principles​).

I have not just read these things, but I’ve reached out to the authors (when possible) and interviewed them. I didn’t do this so much for the audience as I did for my own understanding–I wanted to hear from actual experts, not professional opinion-havers. (Here’s me talking to media experts like ​Renée DiResta​ and ​Jonathan Haidt​. Historians like ​Adam Hochschild,​ ​John M. Barry​, ​Barry Strauss​, ​Thomas Ricks​ and ​Josiah Osgood​​. Here’s my talking to a ​former Democratic congressman​, ​a Republican Senator​. Here’s me talking to ​Democratic and Republican Mayors​. Here’s me talking to ​a former Republican communications operative.)

What I’m always trying to do is ground my sense of what’s happening in reality. I’m trying to get perspective. I’m trying to get context. I don’t always get it right–I sometimes get caught up in the ‘current thing’ or get anxious or worked up about stuff that doesn’t matter–but I’ll tell you what: I don’t wake up every day miserable. I have also avoided, unlike many people I know, ​getting sucked into the mob​.

This is exactly what one of the early Stoics said was the job of the philosopher. We’re supposed to think for ourselves. We’re supposed to be above the fray.

So I’m not saying you need to disconnect completely. What I’m saying is you can’t possibly hope to keep your bearings about you these days if your understanding of the world is primarily dependent on the news of the day. No, you need to be rooted in something deeper than the so-called “first draft of history” or the ticker tape of what the sociologist E. Robert Kelly once called the “specious present.” Ask yourself: Is this thing that I’m consuming likely to still be relevant, still important, in a day? Or in five days, or in a week or in a year or five years?

Then ask yourself: Am I consuming or contributing? Because too often we conflate these things. The time spent scrolling or reacting on social media could be spent engaging with your community, voting, attending a city council meeting, teaching your children, making ethical decisions in your own business, or simply having a meaningful conversation.

If we could break free from this loop, not only could we get some meaningful work done, but we might be able to connect with each other in ways that are productive instead of divisive.

There is a tradeoff here: by choosing deliberate ignorance of the nonsense and chatter, we gain the ability to prioritize and see with clarity. It’s a swap—generalized outrage for the capacity to focus on what truly matters. Whether you see the next four years as the beginning of real positive change or the beginning of the end—one thing is certain: you will be able to think about it all more objectively if you followed the breathless news cycle less.

Meanwhile, Trump—a news and social media addict if there ever was one—is charged not with campaigning for president anymore but with being president. That’s going to require ignoring the talking heads—the ones that hate him and the ones that love him—or the apps on his phone and focusing on doing one of the toughest jobs on the planet. Social media will only be a source of aggravation and distraction for them and for us. Catering to the people who sell our attention for money will not only deprive us of any potential common ground, it will actually make us less accountable to each other.

Of course, this isn’t just about politics or presidents. You can replace “Trump administration” with whatever you care about and leaders of all types. The point remains: there is plenty of important work to do in this world and plenty to be vigilant about.

But let’s stop pretending that the ceaseless news feed is anything other than what it is: addiction and manipulation masquerading as a social good. Then we wonder why we’re left sapped of reason and willpower and perspective.

Stay informed.

But do it differently:

Pick up a book.

Be a philosopher.

When I lived in New Orleans, I used to get my haircut by this guy named Pat in the French Quarter. I remember looking around the Monteleone Barber Shop, which had two conspicuously empty chairs, and asking why Pat never had anyone else working in the shop with him.

“I used to,” he said, “but the other barbers kept speaking badly about the President so I let them go.” Ordinarily, I would have just left it at that–this was the Deep South and politics are always risky–but I had to know.

“What president?” I asked.

“Jimmy Carter,” he said like I should have known.

I remember thinking, “lol what?” Had he really been holding onto this grudge for thirty years? And who white knights for Jimmy Carter?

But that curious exchange sent me down a rabbit hole. Over the years, I read a chunk of the books Carter wrote (I would not have guessed he wrote 30+ books). I also read several big biographies on Carter and became genuinely fascinated by a man that I’m not sure I’d heard a single good thing about growing up.

But because of Pat, slowly but surely, Jimmy Carter became one of my heroes. In fact, I’d argue he is the hero of my book Right Thing, Right Now, and largely the inspiration for the title. He appears in Discipline is Destiny and some of my favorite stories in The Daily Dad (like this one). And back in April, it was one of the honors of my life to give a speech about Carter at the U.S. Naval Academy, which Carter graduated from in 1946 right across from the recently named Carter Hall. (You can watch the speech here or at the link below and check out the others in my four virtues series here and here and here).

Well, less than two weeks ago, Jimmy Carter died at age 100. 100! The longest-living president in American history. That doesn’t tell us anything, though. Seneca’s line was that it’s not how long you live but how well you live that matters. He was pointing out that many people live to be old but have little to show for it. 

What I wanted to talk about today is some of the things that Jimmy Carter has to show for the century he spent on this planet.

The reviews of his presidency are unfairly mixed—this was a man whose term was without wars, without corruption, first addressed climate change, mandated the seatbelt in cars, returned the Panama Canal to its rightful owners, a historic peace deal for the Middle East.

As he summed up his own time in office: “We told the truth, we obeyed the law, and we kept the peace.”

Pretty good.

But his time as an ex-president is unquestioned. After he left office, Carter founded The Carter Center to promote global health, democracy, and human rights, earning him a Nobel Peace Prize in 2002. In particular, Carter was relentless in his efforts to eradicate Guinea worm disease. At a 2015 press conference, Carter famously said, “I’d like for the last Guinea worm to die before I do.” When he started working on the problem, the disease afflicted more than 3.6 million people a year in 21 countries. As of the latest report at the end of 2022, there are just 13 cases in 4 countries.

Beyond wiping out diseases, he’s acted as an international mediator in North Korea, Haiti, and other nations. He was an active volunteer, focusing particularly on housing for the poor—still personally building houses into his 90s. He wrote numerous books on various subjects, from policy to his personal life and even poetry. He enjoyed a 77-year marriage to his beloved Rosalynn, “the foundation for my entire enjoyment of life,” Carter once said. Together, they had four children and 22 grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

In short, it was a life of service and a life of virtue. Not virtue in the pious, judgmental sense, but in the Stoic sense–active in public life, active in the world, equal parts compassionate and muscular, he was a man deserving to command because he commanded himself first. And so, here are some of the very best lessons from the great Jimmy Carter on how to live a good and honorable life:

Hang in there. In the 1930s and 40s, the African Americans who entered the Naval Academy left because of appalling racism. Wesley Brown was on the brink of leaving when Carter, who was two years ahead, popped by his dorm room and said, “Hang in there.” Because Carter grew up in a small, rural, segregated town in Georgia, he was expected to be racist. And so, one classmate recalled, “he was treated as if he was a traitor.” Still, Carter would often put his arm around Brown and let him know he was there for him. Brown would hang in there and become the first African American graduate of the Naval Academy in 1949.

Make time every day for study and reflection. Even when he was president, Carter blocked out an hour in the mornings for reading, thinking, and prayer.

The best lessons are learned by example. Carter’s reading habit began as a child. Growing up, reading was done as a family. Each evening, his mother sat down for dinner with a book. The children were encouraged to follow suit. It wasn’t considered rude, Jimmy would later reflect, because reading at the table was simply a Carter Family habit. What a beautiful scene that must have been, even if it was a little untraditional: each of their faces buried in a book, each of them learning, entertaining themselves, widening their horizons. Carter carried this tradition on with his own family even as they moved into The White House in 1977.

Always do your best. In an interview with Admiral Hyman Rickover, the father of the nuclear Navy, Carter proudly said he was ranked 59th in a class of 840 at the Naval Academy. Instead of being impressed, Rickover asked, “Did you always do your best?” Carter answered honestly that he did not always do his best. After a long pause, Rickover asked, “Why not?” and then walked out of the room. Carter would never forget this question. This question became the lodestar of Carter’s life.

Do it now. In 1970, Jimmy Carter won a surprise victory for governor of Georgia. During his inauguration in 1971, he announced: “I say to you quite frankly that the time for racial discrimination is over.” The crowd was stunned. He had just run a conservative campaign in a conservative state, did he really have to make that statement right then? “It’s impossible for me to delay something that I see needs to be done,” Carter later explained. He always said that he never wanted to do anything to hurt his country—that’s why he made that bold declaration the moment he became governor. This is a lesson for all of us. There are so many things that we want to do in life, but we delay because it will be too hard, too controversial, too time-consuming. The danger in the delay, Carter understood, is that we don’t say we won’t do it, we say we’ll get to it later. And then we never do. No one knows how much time we have. The longer we wait, the more likely it is that we’ll never get around to it. So stop delaying. Do what needs to be done. Do it now.

Seriously, do it now. Six years after that stunning speech in Georgia, Carter was elected president of the United States. On his very first day in office, just hours after his inauguration parade, he held a meeting—literally his first appointment—with a disabled army veteran named Max Cleland to discuss yet another stunning announcement. After asking Cleland to head the Veterans Administration, Carter instructed him to begin working on a blanket pardon for everyone who had evaded serving in Vietnam. He believed the time for forgiveness and understanding had come. Cleland, who supported the idea, warned the president that it would be unpopular in the Senate and might be worth delaying, perhaps until his second term. “I don’t care if all 100 of them are against me,” Carter replied. “It’s the right thing to do.”

Be generous. During the Depression, wanderers and hobos would often stop at Carter’s childhood home in Georgia, which was not far from the railroad tracks. Carter’s mother would always fix them something to eat. Later, Jimmy Carter would learn that the community of homeless people during the Depression had a series of symbols to communicate which houses were decent and kind and which were heartless and cruel and to be avoided. The idea of this mark—of earning it from those in need—stayed with him all his life. It’s why, even into his nineties, he donated his time and money to help others and built houses for those who could not afford their own.

Use your powers for good. The Carter family met a woman named Mary Prince when they moved into the Georgia governor’s mansion in 1971. She had been assigned to their staff as part of a work program for incarcerated inmates. Carter’s wife, Rosalynn, quickly became convinced of Prince’s innocence and was appalled at the details of her conviction—Prince, a black woman, had been convinced by her lawyer to plead guilty to manslaughter. The lawyer then had her plead to murder, for which she received a life sentence. The Carters asked that Prince be assigned to nanny their young daughter, Amy, and eventually secured her parole and a full pardon. She came to live with them in The White House. After his presidency, Carter bought her a house down the street from the Carters’ in Plains, Georgia. They remained close friends for the rest of their lives. Carter would dedicate a book called Our Endangered Values to her in 2006.

Don’t be all about business. As he was setting up his administration in The White House, Carter told the ambitious staff, “We are going to be here a long time, and all of you will be more valuable to me and the country with rest and a stable home life.”

You have only one life to live. Make the most of it. Carter said that’s what drove him: “I feel I have one life to live. I feel like God wants me to do the best I can with it. And that’s quite often my major prayer. Let me live my life so that it will be meaningful.”

Run a tight ship. Everybody thinks Jimmy Carter was a bad president because he was too nice or too idealistic, that he should have waited until reelection to do some of the things he did. Turns out the real reason he struggled (and why he wasn’t re-elected) was that he tried to get away with not having a Chief of Staff (read Chris Whipple’s book The Gatekeepers). He was a good man, but he had trouble managing all the demands on his time and attention. This is an important lesson, I think: At the end of the day, it comes down to how well-organized you are and how tight a ship you run.

Don’t talk about it. Be about it. Jimmy Carter, once evaluating his relationship with his faith, asked himself: “If I was tried for being a Christian, would I be convicted?” It’s sort of a breathtaking question—imagine suddenly taking your word for it wasn’t enough. Imagine you were actually being investigated. What would the record show? This is such an important question to ask yourself not just of faith, but as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as an employee, as a boss. Are you as committed as you say you are? Would the evidence be compelling? Or would it turn out that you talked a good game, but didn’t actually walk it? In the end, it doesn’t matter what you say. It matters who you are.

Age is no barrier. When Jimmy Carter’s mother was 68 years old, she saw an ad on television for the Peace Corps that said “Age is no barrier.” So she joined. Almost 70 years old, she went to India and taught nutrition and family planning! Is it any wonder then, that Jimmy Carter’s post-presidential years were so productive and service-oriented? Even at age 96, he built houses for Habitat for Humanity, wrote books and taught Sunday school. Carter knew that age was no barrier–especially when it comes to doing the right thing.

Take care of yourself. A young Jimmy Carter was pulled aside by his father one day: “There is something I want you to promise me,” his father said, “I don’t want you to smoke a cigarette until you are twenty-one years old.” This was the late 1930s when something like 40% of the population smoked (Carter’s dad himself was hopelessly hooked). “I won’t,” Jimmy promised. In his lifetime, Carter smoked only one cigarette, at age twenty-one while in the Naval Academy. He hated it and never did again. Tragically, his siblings and mother picked up his father’s smoking habit and each died of cancer in one form or another. Jimmy, as we know, lived to be 100. Take care of yourself. It allows you to do more good. 

Get comfortable pissing people off. A Democratic congressman once said of Carter: “If that son of a bitch asks me to do the right thing one more time, I’m going to kick his ass.” No matter what you do, someone is going to be unhappy about it. This is a simple fact of life. But you can’t let it stop you.

Don’t cheat the gift. As a young man, Jimmy Carter heard the Parable of the Talents, which tells the story of three servants who are given money from their master to protect while he is away. When the master returns, he asks each servant what they did with the money. The first invested the money, the second put it in a bank, and the third buried it in fear of the responsibility. “I gather from this episode,” Carter says of the parable, “that we should use to the fullest degree whatever talents or opportunities we have been given, preferably for the benefit of others.” To whom much is given, the lesson from the parable goes, much is expected. Do your best. Become what you can be. You owe the world that much.

Be loyal. One campaign reporter once remarked that of all the presidents he covered in the 20th century, Jimmy Carter was the only president that he can say with absolute certainty was faithful to his wife. Jimmy Carter and his wife, Rosalyn, were together for 77 years, which is the longest-running marriage in the history of American Presidents.

Be tough on yourself, understanding of others. Jimmy Carter held his life to a high standard, but he was also honest with himself about his flaws and made sure never to boast. The famous ‘scandal’ where Carter admitted to having ‘lust in his heart,’ was Carter trying to say that he didn’t judge people who did have affairs because he himself was not without sin. “The guy who is loyal to their wife ought not be condescending or proud because of his relative degree of sinfulness,” he once said in an interview. Strict with yourself, Marcus Aurelius would say, and tolerant of others.

——–

On the one hand, I was sad to hear of Carter’s passing. On the other, I wasn’t that sad. Because no one could say that he was taken from us too soon. Not because he was given plenty of time on this planet, but because of what he did with that time. This man certainly lived.

I thought about this a few months ago when I went back to that barber shop while I was in New Orleans on business.

Pat didn’t remember me and I wasn’t sure if I remembered the conversation right, so I sort of danced around it. But I found a way to bring it up.

 “Who doesn’t like Jimmy Carter?” he said, when I asked him again about the other barbers. “He’s one of the most decent men who ever lived.” 

Agreed!

Here we are…at the halfway point of the 2020s. The first half seems like it was both yesterday and forever ago, doesn’t it?

Tempus fugit. 

That’s what the ancients said. Time flies. 

But as time passes, as the world changes, how many of us just stay the same? Incredible, unbelievable events have transpired, but I would not say I have transformed myself in any incredible or unbelievable way. 

We go on being the way we always were, not unlike, as Marcus Aurelius noted, those gladiators at the game “torn half to pieces, covered in blood and gore, and still pleading to be held over till tomorrow…to be bitten and clawed again.”

While there is nothing magical about the new year or nothing special about being halfway through a decade, there can be something powerful in these artificial constructs, in deciding to mark a turning point. There’s power in rituals, in moments that encourage us to pause, reflect, and reset. Even the Stoics embraced this. Seneca is said to have begun each year with a plunge into the icy Tiber River, a bracing ritual to wash away the old and prepare for the new.

Here are some habits, some best practices, some things I am going to ask of myself in 2025 (many of which were inspired by The Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge, which starts on January 1st). It’s a big part of my year each year—kicking things off with something that challenges me—and I hope you’ll join us on January 1st. Sign up here and learn more about the challenge in the P.S.

Do The Essential Things First

This is where it all starts: with how you spend the best part of your day. The novelist Philipp Meyer​ (whose book ​​The Son​​ is an incredible read) told me on the Daily Stoic podcast, “You have to be very careful about to what (and to whom) you’re giving the best part of your day.” This wisdom echoes across the habits of many productive people.

Well-intentioned plans fall apart as the day progresses. Our willpower evaporates. The world makes its demands. So it’s key that we prioritize the important things and that we habitualize doing them early. It doesn’t have to be perfect or grand. It just has to come first.

Personally, I fiercely protect my mornings—family first, then writing. My assistant knows not to schedule anything before mid-morning because early calls and meetings don’t just take time—they sap the energy needed for the essential work. I want to give my best self to my most important things. Everything else can come after.

Think Small

The writer James Clear talks about the idea of “atomic habits” (and has a really good book with the same title–it was actually the first book someone bought from The Painted Porch). An atomic habit is a small habit that makes an enormous difference in your life. He tells the story of how the British cycling team transformed themselves by focusing on 1% improvements in every area—tiny adjustments that, over time, added up to extraordinary results. It’s a simple but powerful concept: repetitive actions accumulate.

“Well-being is realized by small steps,” Zeno would say looking back on his life, “but is truly no small thing.” The key is to start small. Thinking big might feel inspiring, but it’s also overwhelming. Thinking small, on the other hand, is easier—and easier is what gets you started.

If you want to read more this year, don’t aim to finish 50 books. Commit to reading one page per day. Struggling with fitness? Don’t promise yourself a marathon—start with a walk around the block. If your eating habits need work, don’t overhaul your diet overnight—just choose one healthier option today.

The point isn’t about how small the change is; it’s about the momentum it creates. Once you start, you can build. As George Washington’s favorite proverb goes, “Many mickles make a muckle.” Small steps add up to something significant.

Focus On Process, Not Goals

Most people start the year with goals—lose 20 pounds, write a book, learn a language. But goals are just finish lines—they’re about achieving something specific, often external, and usually out of your control. A better approach is to focus on the process: the daily work and the practices that will move you forward, regardless of the outcome. As I wrote about recently, I don’t have goals. When I write, I don’t focus on finishing books—that would be overwhelming. Instead, I focus on my notecard system and writing for a couple hours every day. The books emerge from that process naturally, over time. This year, instead of fixating on specific outcomes, focus on the process that will guide you. The results will take care of themselves.

Create or Remove Friction 

Make bad habits more difficult to do. Want to spend less time on social media? Log out after each use, delete the apps, or set screen time limits. I don’t keep social media apps on my phone—they’re on my wife’s phone instead. If I really want to check Instagram or TikTok, I have to ask her first. That extra step is just enough to make me think twice, and because of it, I spend way less time scrolling.

For good habits, make them as easy as possible. In our home, mornings go smoother when the kids’ clothes are picked out the night before, sometimes for the whole week. Packing lunches the night before means we can get out the door with less stress. When I get to my desk in the morning, the three journals I write in are sitting right there. If I want to skip the habit, I have to pick them up and move them aside. So most mornings I don’t move them, and I write in them. 

You can apply this to anything. Want to eat healthier? Don’t keep junk food in the house. Trying to shop online less? Remove saved credit card information from your browser—it adds just enough hassle to curb impulsive purchases. Want to drink more water? Keep a reusable water bottle with you at all times.

Make bad habits harder and good habits easier.

Do Something Good 

With so much happening in the world—so much chaos, so much uncertainty—I’ve found myself trying to focus on one simple thing: doing good for others. It’s the old Boy Scout motto: “Do a Good Turn Daily.” Some good turns are big—saving a life, protecting the environment, helping someone in crisis. But good turns can also be small: a kind word, holding a door open, mowing a neighbor’s lawn, or calling 911 when something seems off. Scouts are taught that it’s these little acts, done bravely and consistently, that make the world worth living in. Marcus Aurelius spoke of moving from one unselfish action to another—“only there,” he said, can we find “delight and stillness.” At Daily Stoic, we try to live this out every year by teaming up with Feeding America. This year, we raised over $230,000 (donate here—we could use your help in getting to our goal of $300,000). The truth is, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. A small act, done consistently, compounds—just like a good habit. Whether it’s holding open a door or holding up a family, the impact is real. As you head into this year, get in the habit of asking yourself: What good turn can I do today?

Do Less, Better

Matthew McConaughey told me he shut down his production company and his music label because “I was making B’s in five things. I want to make A’s in three things.” Those three things: his family, his foundation, his acting career (you can listen to our conversation here). Along the same lines, Maya Smart told me she had to start saying “No” so she could say “Yes” to writing her first book (which you can pick up at the Painted Porch Bookshop). “I had to start setting boundaries,” she said “Steven Pressfield writes about this idea that you do this shadow work. For me, it was volunteering…So I started resigning from boards and telling people, ‘I’m no longer able to do this thing that I used to do because I’m focused on this book.’” Marcus Aurelius would say that doing less “brings a double satisfaction.” You get to do less and you get to do those things better. As we enter 2025, consider what you might need to say “no” to in order to say “yes” to what matters most.

Set Boundaries

In a world of social media, instant gratification, and oversharing, setting boundaries is a lost art. You know, minding your own business, keeping your private life private, not letting people drag you down into the muck, not getting entangled in other people’s dysfunctions (or entangling them in yours), being strong enough to communicate what you like and dislike. Boundaries are about drawing some lines around yourself–healthy borders between what you’ll accept and what you won’t, what you’ll do and what you won’t. Without them, we leave ourselves open to being drained by the demands, chaos, and drama of others. There’s a term for people who not only lack boundaries, but suck others dry with their neediness, their selfishness, their dysfunction, and their drama: energy vampires. This year, don’t be an energy vampire and don’t put up with energy vampires. Be strong enough to keep them at arm’s distance even if they’re beautiful, even if they’re talented, even if they’re family or old friends, even if their helplessness calls to the most empathetic part of yourself. Set boundaries this year. And stick to them.

Don’t Do It All Yourself

Whenever I speak to military groups, I like to share one of my favorite lines from Meditations:

“Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?”

I love how Marcus Aurelius delivers that line—with a shrug. So what? There’s no shame in needing help. Whether it’s therapy, asking for advice, or hiring someone to support you, seeking help is often the key to breakthroughs, growth, and success.

Tim Ferriss has a great question that ties into this: What would this look like if it were easy? Often, the answer involves creating support systems or finding the right kind of help. Building habits, achieving goals, or even just making progress isn’t something you have to do alone.

In 2018, we ran the first Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge. It was packed with activities and exercises inspired by Stoic philosophy. Even I, the person who designed the challenge, found it transformative. Why? Because being part of a group, all working together, created a sense of accountability and momentum. Knowing others were pushing themselves alongside me made it easier to show up, stay committed, and go further than I might have on my own.

As we kick off 2025, we’re doing another Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge—a 21-day program to build momentum for the rest of the year. If you’re looking to improve your habits, consider finding a similar challenge. It doesn’t matter what it’s about or who’s doing it with you; what matters is having a structure and a community to support you.

If you need help, so what? Hire a coach or trainer. Lean on your team. Join a group. Ask someone who knows more than you. It’s not a weakness to seek help—it’s a strength. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself that we’re all comrades on this mission. Don’t let pride hold you back from getting the support you need to succeed.

Escape The Most Expensive Habit

I don’t gamble. I don’t spend recklessly. But I do have an expensive habit: anxiety. It’s cost me hours of sleep, moments with my family, and opportunities I let pass because I was too caught up in my fears. It’s the vacation I didn’t enjoy, the dinner I spoiled, the car ride I spent stressing instead of being present. Seneca said, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” Anxiety drags us into a future that doesn’t exist, forcing us to live out worst-case scenarios that rarely happen. And yet, the time and energy anxiety steals are gone forever. The good news? If anxiety comes from within us, we can choose to let it go. Marcus Aurelius put it simply: “Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me.” ​I carry a small reminder with me​—a medallion engraved with Epictetus’ phrase, ta eph’hemin, ta ouk eph’hemin (“What is up to us, what is not up to us”). On the back is a quote from Seneca: “He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.” These phrases are anchors. They remind me that anxiety doesn’t change the outcome—it only punishes me before anything has even happened. It’s not easy to break free, but we can practice—by staying in the present moment, letting go of what we can’t control, and reminding ourselves that anxiety is an expensive habit. Don’t let it cost you anymore of your life.

Say No To Say Yes

It’s a pretty weird thing to collect. But they help me every single day. 

It started a few years ago when Dr. Jonathan Fader, an elite sports psychologist, gave me a picture of Oliver Sacks, who is in his office speaking on the phone, and behind him is a large sign that just says, “NO!” I added to this motif with a small memo signed by Harry S. Truman, shortly after he became president. His secretary wrote an inner-office memo to ask if they should start saying no to these sorts of requests with all the demands he had on his schedule. “The proper answer underlined, HST”, he wrote back. Surrounded by physical reminders makes it impossible to avoid considering each opportunity and each ask carefully. 

In tech, there’s a term called “feature creep”—when too many ideas or requests dilute the core of a product, leaving it ineffective and unremarkable. The same thing happens in life. Trying to please everyone makes sure you’ll achieve nothing. Borrow E. B. White’s elegant response when asked to join a prestigious commission: “I must decline, for secret reasons.” Or take inspiration from Sandra Day O’Connor—one of her clerks once said with reverence, “Sandra is the only woman I know who doesn’t say sorry. Women would say, ‘Sorry. I can’t do that.’ She would just say, ‘No.’” No, Sandra liked to point out, is a complete sentence. Say no. Own it. Be polite when you can, but own it. Don’t say maybe. Don’t give a bunch of reasons (which invite an argument). Don’t push it until later. Say NO. Understand: Everything you say “YES” to in this life means saying “NO” to something else. 

Go The F*ck To Sleep

Earlier we talked about things sapping our energy and making it increasingly more difficult to make good choices throughout the day. Related to that: All the other habits and practices listed here become irrelevant if you don’t have the energy and clarity to do them. What you plan to do tomorrow is irrelevant…if you didn’t get enough sleep tonight. If you’re burned out, if you’re exhausted, if all you want to do is veg out on the couch. 

We think we can get away with pulling an all-nighter here and there. We think we can substitute stimulants for sleep. Nonsense. We only have so much energy for our work, for our relationships, for ourselves. A smart person understands this and guards their sleep carefully. The greats protect their sleep because their best work depends on it. The clearer they can think and the better their mental and physical state, the better they perform. In other words, the more sleep, the better. Follow the advice of a book I love to read to my kids: Go the F*ck to Sleep! Morning routines are great, but a bedtime routine is important, too. Being disciplined about wrapping up and winding down is essential. 

Don’t Lose The Rhythm More Than You Can Help

The path to self-improvement is slippery, and falling is inevitable. You’ll sleep in and not be able to read that page, you’ll cheat on your diet, you’ll say “yes” and take on too much, or you’ll get sucked into the rabbit hole of social media. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You’re only a bad person if you give up. 

​I told Dr. Edith Eger I felt guilty about how I had lost touch with someone and only recently reconnected with them. She cut me off and told me she could give me a gift that would solve that guilt right now. “I give you a sentence,” she said, “One sentence—if I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently.” That’s the end of that, she said. “Guilt is in the past, and the one thing you cannot change is the past.”

No one is perfect. We all have bad days. We can’t change that. When we mess up, we can’t go back and fix it. But we can move forward. We can be better here and now. We have to. “Disgraceful,” Marcus Aurelius would say, “for the soul to give up when the body is still going strong.”

All of us have fallen short in the last year…and the years before that. We broke our resolutions. We lost touch with people we care about. We made the same mistakes again and again. We were “jarred, unavoidably, by circumstances,” as Marcus said. But now it’s time to pick ourselves up and try again. It’s time, Marcus continues, to “revert at once to yourself, and don’t lose the rhythm more than you can help. You’ll have a better group of harmony if you keep on going back to it.”

In other words, when you mess up, come back to the habits you’ve been working on. Come back to the ideas here in this post. Don’t quit just because you’re not perfect. No one is saying you have to magically transform yourself in 2025, but if you’re not making progress toward the person you want to be, what are you doing? And, more importantly, when are you planning to do it?

I’ll leave you with Epictetus, who spoke so eloquently about feeding the right habit bonfire. It’s the perfect passage to recite as we set out to begin a new year, hopefully, as better people.

“From now on, then, resolve to live as a grown-up who is making progress, and make whatever you think best a law that you never set aside. And whenever you encounter anything that is difficult or pleasurable, or highly or lowly regarded, remember…The true man is revealed in difficult times. So when trouble comes, think of yourself as a wrestler whom God, like a trainer, has paired with a tough young buck. For what purpose? To turn you into Olympic-class material.”

For more life-changing habits to implement in 2025, check out this video on The Daily Stoic Youtube channel: How To Reinvent Your Life In 2025 (8 Stoic Practices You’ll Actually Use).

As I said above, I’m starting 2025 with The Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge. It’s 21 days of challenges—presented one per day, built around the best, most timeless wisdom in Stoic philosophy—designed to turn you into Olympic-class material. Sign up here before it starts on January 1st.

Each day you’ll get an email from us with instructions for the day’s challenge. These will all be exercises and routines you can begin right away to spark personal reinvention. We’ll tell you what to do, how to do it, and why it works. We’ll give you strategies for maintaining this way of living, not just for this challenge or for this coming year, but for your whole life.

This challenge is my favorite way to start the New Year. Head over to dailystoic.com/challenge and sign up NOW!