The Image
Michelangelo once went at night to look at the near finished sculpture of a friend. As he examined it, he watched the man fiddle with the window for favorable light. Michelangelo stopped him and said “Don’t trouble yourself, the important thing will be the light of the Piazza.” Meaning that the public decides whether the work is good or bad. His posturing in the shop late at night was irrelevant.
I was thinking about how often we go around trying to just that. Have you ever heard someone describe themselves as eccentric? Or some community college professor put “philosopher” after his name? People like to revel in the status of titles that are inherently not theirs to give.
But it’s all just masturbation. In other words, they’re living in unreality. I’m not saying that someone else gets to decide if you’re a writer or not, but maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t call yourself a “social media expert” unless you get a paycheck with those words on it.
Here’s the thing: the delusion is your loss. Self-fulfilling prophecies are a joke. Giving yourself credit for something in advance does the opposite of encouraging growth, it breeds atrophy. And foolishness. And arrogance. And everything but the thing you want so badly to happen; that is, for people to respect you on your merits.
I agree. But then what did you mean in your ‘About Me’ when you said, “I’ve always believed that if you don’t define yourself, other people will gladly do it for you–this blog is my attempt at that.”
I wish I had seen this a few years ago, when I was in high school and my ego was raging even more out of control than it does now.
I still find it difficult to look to the future, to make plans with the hopes and goals of one day being great, and not letting any of it get to my head. A pet peeve that I have discovered in college is when freshmen introduce themselves and explain how they are pre-med with two majors and minor in completely different subjects, without having even approached their core classes… they don’t have that degree yet, just a fancy-sounding plan.
I’m just as guilty as the next at wanting to make these assumptions about where I am heading and thus give myself permission to act like I am already there. I also, however, try to keep in mind that ‘image’ that I would prefer.
I just have to keep reminding myself that it is better to exist in the present and live in a grounded reality than to get carried away by dreams not yet recognized.
@ Anonymous
You are what you do, right?
Define yourself with action, not words or titles.
What ryan is saying here is to identify yourself and what you truly are, be it with words or titles or actions. He says you are free to define yourself. But don’t over-sell yourself by romanticizing what you have done or plan to do because you will live in your disillusion painfully and unhappy.
How ’bout try to get “Web 3.0 guru” on that paycheck?
Seriously. You don’t get to call yourself a guru. And even if you did, you shouldn’t because it’s lame.
I’m drunk so take this passing thought at face value but did you ever notice the only difference between being eccentric and crazy is the size of their bank account?
What about the fake it til you make it stratagem? Acting like the person you want to be has benefits beyond self-gratification. Power is almost entirely based on appearances in accordance with the 48 Laws. Why not give the public an image that reinforces an intended outcome for your life?
I’m not so sure that Robert ever said that power was entirely based on appearance.
Fake it till you make isn’t a strategy. It’s a cover. It has to be done in accordance with a larger, substantive plan. Otherwise, what is the goal? After you’ve tricked everyone do you magically have what you’ve pretended to have? No, of course not.
Hrm. I disagree subtly. I believe fake it ’til you make it can be a microcosmic strategy in itself. You have to start somewhere. You may not be the greatest guitarist in the world, but if you practice like you are, eventually, it will catch up with you.
The problem is people who just FAKE IT, and never focus on the make it. These are the people who are always going to school, but never really accomplishing anything; talking about what grandiose schemes they have, but never acting on them. These are the people simply performing mental masturbation.
“Faking it ’til you make it,” doesn’t require gloating about what you are marginally good at. Following that, I don’t think you should disregard it because some dork thinks he’s a “social guru”.
I think there is a confusion of terms. One is bragging, the other is simply replicating the actions of other people that have become successful in your field of study.
You said:
“Giving yourself credit for something in advance does the opposite of encouraging growth, it breeds atrophy. And foolishness. And arrogance. And everything but the thing you want so badly to happen; that is, for people to respect you on your merits.”
I agree with this in the context of the piece (this guy is proliferating self-absorbed douche-baggery). But, doesn’t running itself make you a runner, even if you aren’t the best at it? You don’t need to give yourself credit as “the best runner”, or a “running expert”. A modest “runner” will do.
Just a thought.
You’re being pedantic.
Take the running analogy. You just began to take it up as a hobby and get caught up in it even though you’re just ok. You go out and spend a bunch of money on expensive shoes and clothes or whatever. You start to tell your friends about how you’re training for a marathon. You post pictures of yourself running on your Facebook page and put running as your interests. You make a big show whenever you go out to do it or when you come to work sore. Naturally people start to identify you with running even though they’ve never seen you do it or know if you’re any good.
Blah blah, tell me how does any of that faking it until you make it bullshit make you improve as a runner? It doesn’t, it’s just a stupid way for you to give yourself credit for something rather than earning it.
I’d think to see one or two good example where someone who actually accomplished something could be said to have faked their way into it. I bet almost any you’ll come up with with be totally devoid of any of the shit I’m talking about.
Good point Ryan, especially about the atrophy that inevitably attends delusion. Adds new meaning to the phrase, “a legend in his own mind.”
I have an example for you Ryan. One is from law 34 of the 48 Laws of Power where it was explained that Christopher Columbus came from a modest family background but dressed and acted like an aristocrat in order to commerce with nobility. He didn’t come from a noble bloodline so he faked it and pretended he did which, according to the 48 Laws of Power, turned out to be a brilliant strategy that may have been the sole reason he received funding for his voyages to the new world. The book calls this “the Strategy of the Crown.” (p.287) I’m not entirely sure if that pertains exactly to what you were talking about. I think your point is that adopting the Strategy of the Crown can easily trick the strategist into believing he or she has already accomplished his or her aims creating an effective means to slack off. I agree with this and also might add that grandiosity is a classic warning sign of mental illness. As far as the Facebook runner goes though, if faking an interest in running makes him go out and run, then he will be a better runner. He’ll associate with those who have real interest and may even develop real interest himself.
Graham,
But do you see nothing he “faked” had anything to do with his underlying claim that he could sail to the New World? Columbus simply embellished the details to appeal to the ego of a King. In other words, he got rid of the distractions (that he wasn’t of noble blood) so they could focus on the merits of his claim.
That is far different than building a second life on the internet where you’re not the intern you are in reality. Social media analyst? Does someone pay you to analyze social media? Ok, then if you were Columbus you’d have written “renowned social media analyst.” Otherwise, the fact that someone like computers and pontificates on Twitter doesn’t mean they get the title.
And this says nothing of the total dissatisfaction in ‘earning’ a title which you claimed to have already possessed. Can you imagine throwing a party with friends and family to celebrate an accomplishment you’ve already endowed yourself with?
This social media thing remains me of the gold rush, people claiming to be prospectors without ever having seen a mine, yet swear its going to be their own personal elevator to the top. If only the bothered to turn their head in either direction.