This is one of my favorite quotes ever. I found it on The Bunny Blog my senior year of high school, one night at 3 or 4 in the morning when I couldn’t sleep. I remember sending it–on the verge of tears from understanding–to a friend saying THIS is what I was trying to explain. I am taking it so ridiculously out of context but it doesn’t matter, the literal interpretation is better.
We started talking about what it feels like to be young and have ability. You feel like you’re going insane, and you’re always afraid of empty or quiet rooms for the flashes of nebulous shit buzzing around you. You never feel truly alone. There is whispering in your ear and you can’t tell anyone about it. You never have control over the energy around you and no one else even knows its there, and when you slip into sleep its with white knuckles and sweat because the things you see on that plane between your eyes and the rest of the world are getting clearer every day. But like any fear, with age it dissipates.
Erin Leigh Tyler
Just added it to my rss reader, I should have told the child psychologist this when I tried to explain my problems focusing in school and what I described as “racing thoughts”.
The Bunny is worth your time, but she doesn’t update as often as Ryan does. Go through her archives, instead of waiting for a new entry.
Then prepare for this “book” that is supposedly coming out.
What the correlation between “being young and having ability” and being scared to go to sleep because of hallucinations? A few years ago I started over-thinking the world around me and everything crashed. I was scared of insanity, and balance, and breathing and swallowing and stupid shit that I had always taken for granted. But I grew out of it after a few months of paranoia. Does this have anything to do with this quote or am I just mental hah…
Can you tell us which story that was from? I’ve read everything bunny has posted…I’m just curious.
Bunny is out of town for the next week or so. I’ll ask her when she gets back. I think she took it down.
Oh, yeah – I had the same thing. I basically spent two years of my life completely depressed, and I over-thought everything. Nearly drove myself insane with solipsism and fear of death.
Interesting quote, but it’s hard to believe it in the literal sense. I mean, does she actually mean she’s having visions and extreme paranoia, or is this more in the metaphorical sense? Said entirely at the accepted risk of sounds like a complete idiot, but I’d like to understand what she means.
(PS: I haven’t been able to visit the Bunny blog since she took down the Flat Tire, Fat Tire story. I loved that damn story.)