That’s the difference between the grandiose story of self-deception we spin for ourselves and the sad, pathetic reality of what we really are.
Buzz Bissinger is an amazing writer. In many ways, his article is brave and honest and commendable. At the same time, it is the perfect embodiment of the delusional image we project in order to cover up our own fears and inadequacies.
Fortunately, there is an antidote for this. Documentary photographs like this work quite well. You’re not awesome, you’re not a rockstar. All eyes are not on you–at least not in a good way. You look like an idiot.
Just do yourself a favor and learn from examples like this, instead of by your own trial and error.