Our first impulse is to try to stop people’s unpleasant behavior. But when you think about it, often the things that bother us can be more beneficial than the niceties we seem to want so badly. When people are:

—rude or disrespectful:

They underestimate you. A wonderful gift.

—duplicitous:

You won’t have to apologize when you make an example out of them.

—overly critical:

Managed expectations.

—lazy:

Make your accomplishments seem all the more effortless.

—For all behaviors that provoke an immediate negative reaction.