You As a Person
A few weeks ago I said something in a meeting and afterwards, I was talking about it with The Executive. He asked me “Did you have a reason for saying that other than proving you knew more than [name]?” The honest answer was that I didn’t. I’m normally pretty good with stuff like that. It wasn’t so much a strategic problem as much as it said something I didn’t like about me as a person.
You don’t want to be the person that has no control over how they act. You certainly don’t want to be the person that isn’t even aware of the fact that they’re not in control. Sitting in meetings in Hollywood, you can see that most people are horribly guilty of this. That’s why they name drop, make ridiculous predictions, and scream at their assistants. They just get away with it because they only deal with their own kind.
Hollywood’s biggest problem isn’t structural or economic, it’s cultural. People are sickeningly oblivious and insecure and just generally awful. The emails I’ve been cc’d on make me want apologize on other’s behalf. And it’s not that they’re evil or malicious, they’re just insulated. It was always a seller’s market. But it’s not anymore and the internet has permanently shifted that power. It’s over.
So more than anything, I’m trying to to figure out what my actions say about me as a person. They either match who I want to be or I shouldn’t be doing them. That involves asking a couple questions – always Why? What for? and What Happens if I Don’t?
It’s not just that it ineffective. There is a reason that things are getting worse daily. The final question is that if it were effective – if there monetary incentives for being an asshole and for being uninformed – would it be worth it?
There’s time and place for rudeness/ awfulness. Used properly, you are capable of getting results, of having your ideas implemented and being the one to control the dynamic of the relationship. There have been some fantastically successful people who made use of being able to put people consistently on the defensive; in Hollywood, I think Harvey Weinstein would be a good example.
The problem is that people have copied the form and not the function. I blame self-help books telling people to be “more assertive”, which gets processed as “never come off as conciliatory ever”. Contrast that with when taking people down is used sparingly (and when it’s appropriate), it is an effective way of motivating and controlling. But when you just start being a contemptible jerk all the time, it loses its potency, and you just come off as an insecure and weak person.
Why don’t you try eating mushrooms? If you enjoy the trip and feel good about yourself the whole day and after the trip ends then you are at one with yourself. If you get upset or depressed as a result of the mushrooms revealing something about yourself you were ignorant to, or in denial about then you’re questions will be answered. What I’m trying to say is stop asking yourself these questions and trying to get an honest answer out of yourself. The altered perception the mushrooms will give you allow you to see things completely differently and void of any filter.
Isn’t it convenient that you can rationalize illegal and potentially harmful behavior because it lets you “discover yourself?”. I find it weird that you can profess to be so self aware, yet in denial over the fact that you’re abusing substances for a good time.
By all means, get drunk, get stoned… but don’t pretend as if it is for such high (lol) purpose.
Thanks alot – your answer solved all my prbomels after several days struggling
Ryan,
Yes, I agree, that Hollywood is on the verge of something — collapsing? maybe, but not quite — but as long as people move out there in droves and buy into the system (e.g. aspiring actors, aspiring screenwriters, young people who just want to live in LA because it’s trendy, people who don’t know better, people who MUST work there because that’s where the action is … )… as long as they buy into and thus subsidize the system, I don’t think it’s going to collapse completely. However, more and more people (namely artists) are finding out they don’t need that system and saying no to the big move to LA. I work in the entertainment industry, and I have lived out in LA, at one point, and now that I am back in Chicago, I’m finding more and more people who are coming back from that shithole saying that they don’t need it. These people seem to be most comfortable with themselves and not in need of some sort of approval. This has also been brought on the fact that the internet is helping actors, producers, writers, etc, get discovered a lot easier — maybe not making it big, but finding a good, maybe small, core fan base on the net. A true hardcore fan base. They don’t care about making it big; they care about doing what they love and in a place where they love. California is nice, but I’m sure you can attest to the scum that is LA; true, it has some perks, but the whole city is awash with the insecure people that you talk about, seeking some sort of stardom and approval. I’ve lived in that place and go back at least twice a year on business, and everytime, I hate it more. I think the people who know what’s happening, who see what is happening, who are more Net Savvy and up on the trends, may forgo the whole LA experience entirely.
I certainly hope so. Don’t get me wrong. California is beautiful and the weather is nice, but there is something scummy about LA. You have to be there and work there to know it. Mainly the entertainment industry. But, of course, I have a midwestern bias. Perhaps I am too pragmatic for LA, awash in the droves of people that flock there on a sea of dreams and idealism, straight out of high school or college, thinking they are going to be big.
I welcome the fall. What about you?
I love mushrooms as much as any addled hippie but I don’t think its a good idea to take them if your looking for “objective” knowledge. Thats probably the last thing you want to do. I like what Philalawyer said about drugs: Drugs can do a great job of giving you unique persepectives and removing the filters and social strictures that bind our thoughts, but they arent a blueprint you use to plan your life
From my limited experience, working on yourself is the hardest but most rewarding project you’ll ever undertake.
I used to get so pissed off the bullshit rationalizations that I hear everyday–like Tucker said on the RMMB, most people are looking for excuses, not solutions.
It took a couple of hospital visits to make me grow the fuck up. Even recently a nice little phrase called “Delirium Tremens” served as another wake-up call. Sadly enough, I don’t think most people that suck as people will ever realize it.
I’m not going to support or criticize the use of psilocybin mushrooms, but I will say this: if you’ve never done them, just shut up because you have no idea what you’re talking about.